I recently came across a post that I’d written for a couple of years back for another site. Since it was pretty ageless (I was taking about a seven year old game at the time), I figured I’d repost it here for prosperity’s sake. Who knows, I might continue this as a ‘series’.
Got a little nostalgic the other day so I decided to dig out an old RPG. Settled on the outstanding Dark Chronicle (or Dark Cloud 2 for our friends across the pond) from the ever-reliable Level-5. Playing it through, I considered the number of times games can bestow wisdom – little life lessons that surely must be as applicable in the real world as they are while you’re tramping around a randomly generated dungeon driving a hulking robot built from a telescope, a milk can and a chimney.
So here are 10 things I learnt from Dark Chronicle (PS2)…
- The pen may be mightier than the sword but a well synthesised wrench can hand you your ass on a platter.
- Strange unattended chests should be opened from behind in case they have an urge to bite you.
- Whether you choose yellow or pink, gift-bearing clowns will always screw you over.
- Wandering around a city taking photographs of everything and everyone will not get you locked up for suspected terrorism but can in fact lead to the greatest discoveries of our time.
- Most of the temporal anomalies featured Star Trek TNG could have been repaired with a golf club or at a pinch, a handy stick.
- Fish love bananas and carrots – a cruel joke indeed considering their lacklustre horticultural skills.
- You can leave an old lady alone on a train for several months with no negative side-effects …or disturbing odours.
- When faced with overwhelming trouser-browning danger, the best course of action is often to whip out your Kodak.
- The fossilised remains of a loaf of bread found in volcanic rock will be both still edible and nutritious.
- The fate of the world can rest on how you place your Homebase garden furniture.
There’s nuggets of knowledge to be had from gaming so get out there and apply what you learn at the foot of your favoured electronic shrine to your everyday life. How could you possibly go wrong?