Posts Tagged ‘Gaming Wisdom’


Gaming Wisdom – 10 things I learnt from Just Cause 2 (PC)

Just Cause 2 (by Avalanche Studios) is an excellent game and even though it’s two years old, it’s still one which I’d heartily recommend today. I’m a big fan. Soooo much explodey, drivey, chaotic fun! If you see it for sale anywhere, snap it up! Steam often have it for under four quid. Anyhoo, I did one of my Gaming Wisdom posts for it. Won’t make a lick of sense if you haven’t played the game and even if you have, there’s no guarantees.

Just Cause 2

So here are 10 things I learnt from Just Cause 2 (PC)

  1. While a roll-cage will protect you from crashes, the second you get out of a moving vehicle, any collision will turn it into a devastating fiery ball-of-death for all in its path.
  2. Even during a blazing to-the-death firefight, enemy combatants are perfectly happy to patiently wait for your call-out one-stop-shop helicopter to deliver more ammunition in the event that you ever run out.
  3. Some regimes specifically look for recruits with goldfish-like memories. I guess it probably helps them cope emotionally with the mass slaughter of their comrades by passing para-sailing foreign mercenaries.
  4. Even while being peppered with lethal quantities of lead far in excess of their RDA, enemy troops will still find the civility to speak the language of their assailant.
  5. Despite minding your own business, well-meaning but thoughtless local rebels can really bugger up your sneaky, hidey, stealthy plans.
  6. When falling at terminal velocity to your certain doom from a great height, all that is really needed to save your life is an extra burst of speed that only attaching your grappling-hook to the ground can provide.
  7. Local Panau factions will always need high-priced mercenaries to hop over gates and break into compounds for them as ladder technology apparently hasn’t been developed.
  8. Shouting “He’s trying to hide!” is a viable response to a psychopath running straight at you.
  9. The nozzles on Panau gas cylinders are so badly fitted that a bullet hit anywhere on the cylinder’s surface will dislodge it… and set it alight!
  10. Sheldon doesn’t really understand how grenades work.

Even if you aren’t planning a vacation to the fiction island of Panau, these juicy gobs of gaming wisdom ripped from the grenade shredded carcass of Just Cause 2 will serve you well, no matter what the situation… as long as it involves a criminal faction-led insurgency, grappling-hooks or a helicopter-based weapon/vehicle home shopping channel. Enjoy!


Gaming Wisdom – 10 things I learnt from Dark Chronicle (PS2)

I recently came across a post that I’d written for a couple of years back for another site. Since it was pretty ageless (I was taking about a seven year old game at the time), I figured I’d repost it here for prosperity’s sake. Who knows, I might continue this as a ‘series’.

Got a little nostalgic the other day so I decided to dig out an old RPG. Settled on the outstanding Dark Chronicle (or Dark Cloud 2 for our friends across the pond) from the ever-reliable Level-5. Playing it through, I considered the number of times games can bestow wisdom – little life lessons that surely must be as applicable in the real world as they are while you’re tramping around a randomly generated dungeon driving a hulking robot built from a telescope, a milk can and a chimney.

So here are 10 things I learnt from Dark Chronicle (PS2)

Dark Chronicle

  1. The pen may be mightier than the sword but a well synthesised wrench can hand you your ass on a platter.
  2. Strange unattended chests should be opened from behind in case they have an urge to bite you.
  3. Whether you choose yellow or pink, gift-bearing clowns will always screw you over.
  4. Wandering around a city taking photographs of everything and everyone will not get you locked up for suspected terrorism but can in fact lead to the greatest discoveries of our time.
  5. Most of the temporal anomalies featured Star Trek TNG could have been repaired with a golf club or at a pinch, a handy stick.
  6. Fish love bananas and carrots – a cruel joke indeed considering their lacklustre horticultural skills.
  7. You can leave an old lady alone on a train for several months with no negative side-effects …or disturbing odours.
  8. When faced with overwhelming trouser-browning danger, the best course of action is often to whip out your Kodak.
  9. The fossilised remains of a loaf of bread found in volcanic rock will be both still edible and nutritious.
  10. The fate of the world can rest on how you place your Homebase garden furniture.

There’s nuggets of knowledge to be had from gaming so get out there and apply what you learn at the foot of your favoured electronic shrine to your everyday life. How could you possibly go wrong?