How’s the cheese?

“You’re through to customer relations, how can…”

“How’s the cheese?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“You’re the factory that makes the Asda branded ‘8 Cheese & Garlic Slices’, yeah?”

“Ah, yes. That’s one of the items we produce here.”

“So, how’s the cheese?”

“Erm, er, right. Well, on that particular product, it’s a blend of Cheddar and Mozzarella cheese, locally sourc…”

“Is it bubbling?”


“Is. The. Cheese. Bubbling?”

“I’m not sure I’m quite following you here, sir.”

“In the cooking instructions, it says to heat the slices in the oven ‘until the the crust turns brown and the cheese bubbles’. Since there’s no sodding cheese on my god-damned slices, I can only surmise it’s still in the bloody factory with you tossers!”